- my final thought before making most decisions: fuck it
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
It’s really hard to get out of bed today.
Two polar bears are canoeing in the desert. The first one says to the second one “Where’s your paddle?” The second one replies “Sure does”
"where’s" is a pun on "wears" as in damage, erode, or destroy by friction or use. they’re paddling on sand and its wearing the paddle
KELLY YOU HAVE BEEN FIGURED OUT